Friday, April 15, 2016

He knows how much I really weigh

He knows how much I weigh. 
I know how much he weighs. 
He knows what size pants I wear. 
I know what size pants he wears. 
He knows what size shirts I wear. 
I know what size shirts he wears. 
He's seen my body imperfections. 
I've seen his imperfections 
He's seen my fattest picture (that survived. ) 
I've seen his worst picture. 
He's seen my fat pants.
I've see his fat pants (and tried them on) 
He's seen it all. 
I've seen it all. 

Never in my life did I think I would meet a man who would know all of the above. Every woman out there knows that telling your man how much you weigh can be the scariest thing....ever. We've all done it, we've all gave a "rough estimate" or deducted 10 (sometimes 20) pounds from the actual number. 

Since I have always been bigger (there really is no nice way to say that), I have never asked any man I was with how much they weighed for the fear that then he would ask me. And I had never been ready to cross that bridge with anyone. 

Until now. 

I am with someone now who is going through this journey with me. We both have a decent amount of weight to lose and we both get it. There is no judgement, there is no shaming, there is encouragement and support. He knows exactly what I weigh. He knows what I lose or gain every week and vise Versa. 

And now that it's all out there in the open with him, it's not so scary anymore. It just is. 

I love that he is honest with me. He is my go to shopping partner because he will tell me if it looks good or not. He's constantly challenging me to try in smaller/more fitting clothing. And let's face facts, when you are fat, if a shirt "hugs your body" it's too small. My days of wearing hoodies all fall/winter are numbered. 

When you have that openness with your partner through this journey, it is amazing. When someone else gets it and they understand it, it's easier to listen and accept their support. I know that if he's trying on clothes and I tell him "no it doesn't look good" he knows I'm not offending him or trying to hurt him, I'm being supportive and honest. 

I love that I have my girls to support me who are also going through the same journey. But I am blessed beyond anything to have my babe going through this with me. 

***side note, the pic of Mike is from Christmas/now. He's down 50.0lbs and he's gaining so much confidence