Friday, December 19, 2014

Finally able to say this out loud


My struggle has been real. As far as my weight loss and health are concerned, 2014 was a nothing year. So much change, so much drama, so much lazy, so many bad food choices, so many old habits came back and so many pounds gained. Literally a year wasted on my journey. 

Sure I had stomach issues galore, and i had my surgery. But that in all honesty was an excuse that I held on to for far to long. Far too long. 

Truth time, I gained 35.4lbs in 2014. This based on where I was on the first of the year and where I am now. Sure, I hit a few "milestones" throughout the year but obviously will need to hit them again in 2015. 

I am so pissed off at myself, you have no idea. It took me a good two weeks to actually get my ass back on the scale and see what the damage actually was. It took me another week to write this blog and share it with the world. But it's something that needs to be done. 

I have come to the point where I can't keep talking about "what should have been" or "choices I should have done" Or what have you. I am in a place now where I have accepted it and I am ready to move on. Better yet, start over. 

When I was finally over it all was on Wednesday night. My dear friend Sam called me. She said her struggle was real and reminded me/us how successful we both were when we had each other to hold the other accountable. And let's be real here, we both wanted to "win" the week in weight loss pounds. We are making plans and getting back on track. It was during that phone call that I realized what and where I was doing wrong and what I needed to do to get my ass back in gear. 

I made a list, which I have decided will be a later blog. But I had to air my dirty laundry before I could fully hit restart. 

One more truth, my ass has not been inside planet fitness in months and months and months. I'm not kidding. It's been so long I feel like I have to ask them to show me how to use the machines again. 

The scary thing about all this and my gain of almost half the weight I lost is, I feel like it could have been much, much, MUCH worse. 

Anyways, on to surviving the holidays with my crazy family and friends. And on to a new year and a fresh start. However, I am starting on December 26 because I feel like NY resolutions fail. 

P.S. I wrote this while at Buffalo Wild Wings waiting for a friend, hence the December 26 restart. 😂